you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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