did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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