I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
