Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
