No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
