just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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