need another drink. this is the easiest way
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
