yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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