she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
