I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
