it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
