it wasn't lemon gatorade
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Enjoy the penises
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
