i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
