i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
