My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
