Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
last night I used snow as a chaser
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
