Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
