I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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