it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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