let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
