I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
