I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
