These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
