i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize