just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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