he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
