I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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