arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
