Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
