She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
