do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
