Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I didn't notice because vodka
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
