Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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