both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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