are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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