Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
