Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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