So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
