remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
