I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
