party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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