I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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