i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
