I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
