Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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