Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
