The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
