i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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