I'm gonna have a badass scar
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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