So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
