get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
