He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
