just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
