I want to have your abortion
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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