As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize