woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
bring money and cleavage
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
