My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
