So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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