Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
