So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
