I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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