Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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