We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize